My Poems
by FanYaoiLover5
Summary: Sorry this has nothing to do with much, but I write poems in my spare time and felt that I need to put them somewhere. Hope you enjoy.
1. My Wish, Your Approval, My Death

There is nothing I'd rather have than your love

And there is nothing I would not do to attain that love

I seek only your approval, and nothing else

If any...I wish to hold you close as I take my last few breaths

But it seems I may just get my one wish

My one other want just may be granted with this one blow

I hope we will never grow apart in your mind

For I know we were always together in mine

There is nothing I want more than for you to be happy

To see your smiling face is to see a thousand angels bless a new child

So don't be sad...simply because I might die here in your arms

It was my wish...to die like this

By your hand...In your arms...holding me close...

I wanted to be held by you, and to hold you myself...

Though it seems like I can not hold you now...

Never will I touch you after this...Never will I see you

You shall be in Heaven...while I rest in Hell...

I'll never hear you...never be near you...My Love...

I will miss you...

Will you miss me?

I hope you don't...for then you would be sad I am gone...

All the wealth and wonders of the world would not compare to spending just one more sweet day in your arms...

Let us savor this moment now...and remember all we have done

I recall a time when we were mad at one another...but that seems so far away into the past

Now I think to the time we kissed...I suppose you remember that too...Don't you...

Everything we have done was so wonderful...

The good things...

And the bad things...

I hope you...won't...

Miss...Me...

My dear...sweet...love...

Good...bye...And so long... -


	2. I'm The One Dying

I feel that there is nothing we could have done...

Yet at the same time I felt we could have done so much more

None of it matter now...

You're going to die...and I can't protect you from the reaper

We begged and pleaded...but the gun still fired

And you jumped in front of me...

You're so young...and now your life will end so soon

I don't want this...this wasn't my wish

I wanted to live happily with you...

How can we play in the field again if you can't move...?

We promised that we would again...

Now your arm is limp...What do I do?

Everyone ran in screaming at me...I was supposed to protect you...

My dear...How could I let this happen to you...?

I was supposed to die...the gun wasn't aimed at you...

That bullet was meant for my head...not your chest...

I hold you close while they all scream in fright...

But none of them understand...

There is nothing I can do...I feel helpless...

No one will listen to me...they all kept talking...

And now you hold me too...and I can feel your cold hands touch my body

Your weak...and you can't hold on any more...

All of them are screaming at you...you're not supposed to die...I am

One of them picks up the gun...and now my head hurts too...

I see your cold eyes cast upon my face...But for some reason I can't look back

My arms are weak, and now I can't play in the field with you

You roll over and hold me so tightly...

I hear you...but I can't see you any more...Why am I the one fading

Aren't you the one that died?

No...I'm supposed to die...so why am I sad...

I can't see you anymore...no more playing in the grass...or laughing about nothing...

We knew this would happen...why are we both crying so much

All the other people are laughing...so why aren't we?

My love...you called me your love once...am I still just that...

That must be why I've made you cry like this...I'm sorry...

I want you to smile...so please don't cry...

Forget me...and be happy...

Whoever your with now...be happy with them...please...

I hate to see you cry...my dear...

Be happy...smile...don't be scarred...death...really doesn't hurt much...

Don't look...The bullet is meant for me...

Run away my love...Don't look...

Nothing is sad...be happy...I'm sorry...

Good Bye...My dear love...I'll miss you...so...

So forget about me now...-


	3. Come Play With Me Again

I used to play in a large field...with lots of flowers and sunlight

Now I sit there and think of how it all went by too fast

Everything is going to die soon...and I think I'm going to break...

You don't know me...and you never did

But when I told you this you began to cry...

There was nothing to be sad about...so why did you do that

Right...I forgot

You're looking over me now...and holding me so tightly...

If you're not careful you'll break me in two...

Being in your arms reminds me of when I fell...and you caught me...you put me back on solid ground...

What happened between then and now?

It seems you let me know you...and then you I know had to kill me...

It's alright...I've always wanted to die by your hands...

So please don't cry...

Love is a terrible...beautiful thing...It can rip you apart from the inside out...

Cant it?

Yeah...There's no reason to cry my love

None of the cuts hurt...Not even the one in my chest...

Though the knife does irritate my body...

The hands that hold me are warm...

But I can feel everything getting colder...

Everything is going numb now...so don't cry...

All the pain is going away...but...

Now I can't see you...my love...

Remember when we playing together in the sun filled field?

I do...

Sunlight engulfed my entire soul...ad your eyes would shine the most wonderful color...

Suppose...we could go back...and stay there forever...

Honestly...I think I'm going there...

Will you meet me there...and never leave?

Don't let go of me...your warm...

Your vanishing...everything around you is disappearing...I can't see anything

I'm falling into darkness...but I can see the field...

We're kids again...playing in the field...

Have you ever...seen a raven on a writing desk...or a willow weep...maybe even...a canary...cry...?

My love...It's alright to die by your hand...so don't cry for me...

Yes...you placed the knife in my chest...but I let you put it there...

Now you look as if though you're going to revert what you have done...

Don't...

I will gladly die...Knowing the last thing I saw...was you...

And knowing...the last thing...I said...

Was to you...My love...

My dear...sweet...love...

Do not cry for me...do not think of me...Forget about me now...and be happy...

I'll be waiting...for the day...you came to play with me...

Come to play with me in the field again...Ok?


	4. My Memory

There's nothing left for me here

At times I used to think I could live like this

But now I know it's all just bullshit

There's nothing for me to look forward to now

Everyone is gone

And the evil has returned to haunt me

I had everything when this first happened

Yet I told nothing of anything happening

They found out on their own

Now I've told them my one true secret

And none of them will talk to me

Why should I live through this hell if there is nothing to see after it?

I shouldn't...

So I won't...

After this there will be only my memory

Perhaps people will listen once I'm dead

That is how it seems to work after all...

Nothing else makes any sense to me now...

Everything...everyone...all I had...Is gone

My life...my dignity...I don't even have that

I sit and acts like a garbage dump for men

Who would want to live like this?

I can never tell the man I love how I feel...The feeling is killing me...eating at my soul...

Secrets are best left secrets...but mine could not contain itself

Blowing up and spreading everywhere at once was its one wish

My wish was for it never to be known by any but two

A friend who found out and kept the secret...and me...

Of course it never works like that...so why did it work so long

It must have been so it could explode and leave a bigger gorge in my life...

All the dirt is being shoveled back in...

But while I shovel the dirt back in my life spirals down to hell yet again...

Innocence...is now something I don't have...something far out of my reach

Mine was stolen by the evil that haunts me...

Life...isn't worth living to me...

What's this?

You all come to my heed only when I am to die?

Maybe I should die more often...or perhaps I should have tried this sooner

Why are you all crying...I'm the one in pain...

None of you are doing this...so why sit there and act like it's such a big deal?

Each of you ignored me when I was still stable enough to be scared...

But now you all pay attention...because I'm taking my miserable life and throwing it away...

I already threw it away a while ago...

I dismissed everything I had to tell you all the truth...and you all crushed it and helped throw it far...far away...

So why are you looking at me like this?

Did I do something else wrong...right...I'll tell you...

I'm not innocent now...I have nothing left to look forward to in this wretched hell... I can't tell who I love how I feel...

Oh...look...he's here now looking at me...

I guess I told him then...Now I can die knowing he hates me or maybe he thinks I'm a freak...

Yes...He thinks I'm a freak...

This is how the story will end...won't it..?

Everything ending so miserably for me...and all of you starring at me like you'll remember me next year...

Idiots...You'll never miss...

Such a terrible thing...

A terrible thing that has nothing left to be missed for...

You...all...hate me...-


	5. Love

Love...

A funny thing love is...

Two sides...to an ever so sharpened blade...

The two grasped the blade itself together...and now they bleed into one another's cuts...

Knowing not of the rose they had chosen...each allowed the blade to piece their heart...

And take control of their minds...

One ran and fought an evil force...and perished in the struggle...

While the other ran and hid from the fight...Hopping all would be fine...

Nothing has ever worked out for those who pick the double sided blade...

Especially when they let go of the blade at the last moment...

During the time when all is hurting the most...

If one lets go...and the other holds on...then why take hold from the beginning?

Perhaps for the thrill of picking the rose...and letting the blade control you...

But the thrill will only become a fire if the blade removes your hands...and the rose chokes your soul with its stem...

This is the word...Love...

It is what one must do to truly Love...

The one ran from the sword...and the other gave his life to protect the coward...

Both thinking it was the greatest thing they had ever done...

Dead...are accepted into Heaven for they're actions...

While the living were forced into Hell for running

A sword that can bring both Life...and Death...

Using just a simple drop of blood...

Love...is a beautifully terrible thing...


	6. Distance

People believe I want to be strong...but how do you know yourself?

Have you reached deep into my soul and pulled out my heart?

You can have it if you want...

We used to laugh and giggle about stupid things

Tell me why we now sit and frown at an empty table

Is there some reason for this distance I've made between us...?

Somehow I feel as if though this is my entire fault

We used to play and laugh and had no care in the world

But now we seem to be far apart from each other

Mentally...

Physically...

Emotionally...

What happened to make us like this

Did I do something to do this to us...

To the happy woman I fell in love with

Love...is that what scarred me

It meant I had to share everything with you...

Had to hide nothing...even if I wanted to it would explode and be visible for you to see

I didn't want that...

I don't want that...

Someone who tries to distance everyone so they only see how strong they are

A person who wanted not to be seen crying or sobbing

Even for such terrible events that break their heart into pieces

You're not like that...you know exactly how far to keep people...but all of them are still so close

To you...that closeness keeps you smiling...and I want nothing but to see your smile everyday

You thought...at this moment...that...I wanted to stay away from you forever...

Because I was distant from everyone so they wouldn't see me as weak...

You're wrong...I've always been...waiting for someone to reach out to me

To pull me in from the cold rain...

Please...don't leave me...

Stay here and see my weakness...Embrace my weak soul and reform my heart so it is whole..

For if you do not I will die a thousand deaths...

But..

That would be better than not being with you...


	7. The RedEyed Ghost

The Red Eyed Ghost...

People feared those eyes,

That cast so many into the abyss.

All to change the past,

That he now wishes existed.

At the mercy of those eyes...

He still lives.

While his dream is their death

There is no hope for those eyes to appear again,

Before him in their eeriness

The ghost does not come for those who seek it

So he must seek another who wishes not to see it

Children that screamed

Mothers that cried

Fathers that protected

Until the second they died

This haunts his memory

Along with red eyes

So he seeks to find them

Hoping to make them depart this life

To kill a ghost he cannot find

He will hunt one who fears the thing most

A child who was taken by those red eyes

Possessed by them and then,

Thrown back to life

The ghost with red eyes...


	8. Misery

Misery...

There is nothing better than such.

To live in the darkened shadow of life,

And have nothing to live for in that shadow.

Going step by step and trying to jump over cracks;

Falling deeper and deeper into the shallow abyss

No one taking your hand to pull you back up.

A single tear falls from your eyes,

But not one thing around you can see...

The darkness grows sinister...

With nothing seeing your bloodied face...

One glimmer of light in the distance.

You reach out for it;

Hoping to take hold of a hand.

Instead the light vanishes into the black forest before you...

Cold...

Alone...

Resentful...

Scared...

Feeling as if there is truly nothing to hold onto

A knife lay before you...

What do you do?

Pick it up of course.

Take it to the heart; hold it just the angle to take this life of despair

Nothing stops you

So you thrust it forward into your empty chest

The darkness becomes light,

Cold becomes hot...

Loneliness becomes companionship...

Fear becomes horror...

You awake in the light;

Finding one face looking down on you.

But it cries for your sake...

Does this mean that the darkness is leaving?


	9. Monster

Monsters under my bed

In my head

Forcing me to think of you dead

Not just one

But some

Just some

Of every person on the planet

Monsters in my head

Causing me to wind up dead

Driving me mad

Right to the brim

Pulling me under

Into sweet lunacy

Monsters, Monsters all around me

Nothing but them trying to drown me

A sweet bliss filled madness

Wrapping around me like rope

Chaining me to my own noose

Everything around me turning to stone

I see all of you dead at my feet

And all I did was see your face

That monster beneath my skin wants your blood

So that it can die the white roses crimson


End file.
